Home Columns —Time for Greta— Op-ed by Clay Jones

—Time for Greta— Op-ed by Clay Jones

by Yucatan Times
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And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They’re quite aware of what they’re goin’ through

Changes -David Bowie

Yesterday, Time magazine announced that teen climate activist Greta Thunberg is its person of the year. In choosing her, Time wrote, “She has succeeded in creating a global attitudinal shift, transforming millions of vague, middle-of-the-night anxieties into a worldwide movement calling for urgent change. She has offered a moral clarion call to those who are willing to act, and hurled shame on those who are not.”

It was a good choice. She has brought shame on those who refuse to recognize climate change and their attacks on her prove it. Donald Trump Jr. took time out from shooting endangered sheep in Mongolia to condemn Time with a “how dare you” tweet, called her a “marketing gimmick,” and criticized the magazine for not picking Hong Kong’s protesters, as if freedom and democracy in China is something he’s ever lost sleep over.

If you think it’s despicable for the president’s grown son to attack a 16-year-old, then you’ll probably also think it’s disgusting for the president to attack her. Donald Trump, SENIOR, the freaking president of the United States, tweeted this morning, “So ridiculous. Greta must work on her Anger Management problem, then go to a good old fashioned movie with a friend! Chill Greta, Chill!”  Greta, showing more maturity than either of the Trump buffoons updated her Twitter profile afterward, “A teenager working on her anger management problem. Currently chilling and watching a good old fashioned movie with a friend.”

First off, if you’re Donald Trump, Trump Jr. (who just wrote a book called “Triggered”), or any Trump-supporting asshole, you don’t have the high ground in telling anyone to work on their “anger management.” Have you listened to yourself? If you’re screaming at a 16-year-old girl because you don’t like that she’s a climate activist, you have anger issues.

Secondly, what happened to their moral high ground about not attacking children? Wasn’t it just last week that Melania and every Republican got “triggered” over a professor saying Barron Trump’s name during a congressional hearing?  The vein in Matt Gaetz’s forehead is still twitching. But now, it’s OK to scream insults and attack a 16-year-old? The only way to understand this is that it’s OK when a Republican does it.

In fact, Trump’s been doing it. After Greta spoke before the United Nations, Trump tweeted an attack at her. At that time, he was probably jealous that she was able to speak before the UN without the entire General Assembly laughing at her. Now, with her on the cover of Time, Trump has two reasons to be envious of a 16-year-old girl (there are also the facts she’s smarter and brighter than Trump, people who aren’t assholes like her, she can speak in complete sentences in English despite the language not being her first, and people can stand to be on a boat with her out at sea without throwing themselves overboard to the sharks).

Trump loves being on the cover of Time. He’s said more than once how he’s been on it more than anyone else in history. Of course, being that he’s Donald Trump and those were words coming out of his mouth, they’re lies. Richard Nixon has been on the cover the most followed by Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton, and, this one’s going to hurt, Barack Obama. Being on the cover of Time is so important to Trump that he doesn’t just fabricate how many times he’s been on the cover. He’s actually hired someone to create fake covers of the magazine with his face on them. The fake Times have been spotted at at least five of Donald Trump’s crappy golf resorts. Now, the only plausible reason for this is that they ward off bedbugs.

Trump also got upset in 2015 when they chose German Chancellor Angela Merkel as their person of the year. Trump tweeted, “I told you @TIME Magazine would never pick me as person of the year despite being the big favorite. They picked person who is ruining Germany.” They finally did choose him in 2016, after he fake won the election, and he tweeted then that it was a “great honor.” But keep in mind, Adolph Hitler was also Time’s person of the year once. Just because you’re making the biggest impact in the world doesn’t mean it’s a good one.

A lot of conservatives attacked Time for not choosing the Hong Kong protesters. Again, it’s not that they’re so much in support of what’s going on in Hong Kong as they don’t like Greta. But choosing Greta doesn’t diminish the Hong Kong protests. The fact they can’t disagree with the choice without losing their shit shows that Time made the right one. I’m sure there are plenty of liberals who believe the Hong Kong protesters should have been chosen, but aren’t tweeting attacks at a child or calling her a “marketing gimmick.”

Other conservatives were upset and forgot to mention Hong Kong. Josh Jordan, whoever that is, tweeted, “They really should’ve make Greta’s parents person of the year for indoctrinating Greta at the age of eight and taking away her childhood, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.”

Sebastian Gorka, racist fraud who used to work in the White House, tweeted a picture of baby Yoda tweeting, “More realistic a choice than Greta.”

Conservative talk show host Matt Walsh tweeted, “Wow cisgendered white girl as person of the year. Time Magazine reinforcing white heteronormativity once again. Outrageous.” Walsh has promised to talk about this on his show today (I saw that on Twitter. I don’t watch his show) and in the past, he’s called Greta a victim of child abuse.

If Greta is a victim of child abuse it’s because conservatives like Donald Trump and Matt Walsh are abusing her. But I guess it being wrong to attack children is so last week.

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The Yucatan Times
For TYToons / Clay Jones

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