“You and nobody else, decide the intensity and duration of your emotional disturbances …”
A common and “irrational” lacerating belief is to be convinced that “the possibility that you have to adequately handle your emotional disturbances is scarce or null,” (irrational thinking)
This negative belief is based on the conviction that discomforts or sufferings, at a given moment, come from the outside, that is, that others are responsible for your disturbances.
Verbal or non-verbal attacks from others will affect you to the same extent of importance that you give to your own assessments and interpretations of the facts.
I give you an example: the expression, “it hurts me that my friends speak badly about me” could be wrongly formulated – think about it – since what really hurts you is that, by repeating it over and over again, you are giving this expression an assessment of “terrible or unbearable”, which causes the intensity and duration of this same negative emotion, to disturb you.
When you experience a painful emotion, analyze and accept that it is you who provokes that emotion and that, just as you originate it, you can also annul it, and simply make it go away.
If you train yourself to objectively observe your painful emotions, you will discover the “irrational thoughts and beliefs” that originate and sustain the “emotions” that disturb you.
You will be able to replace your own “negative verbalizations” -in your internal dialogue- with positive ones and, to the same extent, you will realize that it is possible to overcome and keep under “control” your self-destructive thoughts and emotions.
by Antonio Alonzo Ruiz, clinical psychologist, UVHM.
Specialist in intervention and education for adults,
MATIA Gerontological Institute.
Antonio Alonzo Ruiz, is a 60-year-old Yucatecan graduated from the School of Philosophy and Theology at the San Ildefonso Archdiocesan Seminary in Yucatán. Clinical psychologist and psychotherapist from the Hispanic University of Mexico, specializing in cognitive impairment, psychostimulation and psychological intervention in older adults, by the MATIA Gerontology Institute of San Sebastian, Spain. He has 32 years of experience working directly with seniors and families.
Antonio Alonzo Ruiz, psicólogo clínico, UVHM.
Manejo de Emociones y Envejecimiento.
Facebook: Antonio Alonzo