ONE, TWO, THREE … FOR ADULTHOOD
“I’m not good and capable enough …”
Convince yourself, your emotional problems come from a series of “irrational” beliefs that you are not used to questioning and with which you try to make sense of your life.
It is “irrational”, for example, to pretend that all your ideas, decisions and behaviors are approved by others.
Demanding to be “approved” by everyone, all the time is an unattainable goal.
If you constantly seek the approval of others, you will generate permanent worry and anguish for the “quantity and quality” of acceptance you receive, and guess what? … most of the time it will seem insufficient!
To worry about the approval of others, will generate in you a “servility” attitude, and the time will come that you will have to abandon your own needs and, repeatedly, renounce your projects for the simple fact of making someone else “happy”.
Thinking and feeling that others do not consider you “good enough or capable” can be frustrating in some cases, but you don’t have to consider it as something horrible or catastrophic.
If in any case you consider it necessary to seek the approval of someone, that should be in relation to some fact or activity, but not in relation to you as a person.
It’s good – and healthy – to ask yourself, What do I want to do?, instead of, What would others like me to do?
To be loved, appreciated and approved by others – without looking for it – the best way is to do it first (love, accept and approve other people), without expecting anything in return. It really is worth it to get used to thinking positive about yourself.
See you next Thursday.
by Antonio Alonzo Ruiz, clinical psychologist, UVHM.
Specialist in intervention and education for adults
MATIA Gerontological Institute.
Antonio Alonzo Ruiz, is a 60-year-old Yucatecan graduated from the School of Philosophy and Theology at the San Ildefonso Archdiocesan Seminary in Yucatán. Clinical psychologist and psychotherapist from the Hispanic University of Mexico, specializing in cognitive impairment, psychostimulation and psychological intervention in older adults, by the MATIA Gerontology Institute of San Sebastian, Spain. He has 32 years of experience working directly with seniors and families.
Antonio Alonzo Ruiz, psicólogo clínico, UVHM.
Manejo de Emociones y Envejecimiento.
Facebook: Antonio Alonzo