Commentary: ‘What are your cheeks full of?’

In this post for TYT, Merida life coach Margarita Castillo comments on the need to put aside petty dissatisfactions with ourselves……

Some weekends ago,  I went with my son, his classmates and their mothers to the Mayan Riviera to celebrate their elementary school graduation.

The kids had great fun in the bubble party at the pool and we enjoyed taking pictures of them while they were going back and forth freely all around the hotel pool and beach areas.

We planned a photo shoot at the beach with all the young boys and mothers dressed in white…. there were mini sessions for every mother and kid and the big group picture was taken too…



Next morning we went to the photostore to check our pictures… the lady next to me was cancelling two pictures because her crow’s feet were very noticeable… to me, she looked sooo beautiful… but she didn’t believe so.

Then the gorgeus mom who was in line before me started chosing her best pictures… she was wearing a beautiful white chiffon dress which contrastated  with her wonderful tanned skin…. she looked beautiful smiling, sharing that moment with her son…

Sadly she said: I look so dark!

-No – I answered…. -you look great! Look at your hair is amazing! (It really was), and she said: -No, it is not well done!

The truth, it was flying with the beach wind and looked completely natural and nice…. but she was not happy…

Then, I told her: -But you look radiant with that smile!! You are showing how happy you were yesterday having this great moment with your boy!

-No! – she answered again- look at my cheeks! They are soo big and puffy!

…I think that I don’t like to see me,  because I’ve been so thin before now….. That’s why! And when I look at this pictures, I don’t think this is me….

I nodded a little, felt so much love and compassion for her… I’ve been there too… how many of us have been there too?  But there is another way, an easier and happier way to feel and embrace and love ourselves…. I put on my BARE-life coach cap and said:

Have you ever thought that those “puffy” cheeks as you call them are the only ones you have? You smile with them every day and your kids love those smiles from you…. those puffy cheeks are full of your kids kisses! Don’t you enjoy their kisses?

-She stared at me and we both shed a tear… I hugged her very tight still surprised of my words and then walked away letting her chose her best picture…. I don’t know which one she chose, but I wished she could understand the meaning of this amazing moment with our twelve-year-old boys…. they hate pics, and smiled for us, we had a whole weekend alone with them, no brothers no sisters, no dads… we see them grow and this is what matters, the picture just captures our special moment with each other…. and our crow’s feet, very tanned skin, extra pounds and puffy cheeks are just the carriers of all our love!

By MARGARITA CASTILLO LAVIADA for TYT


margarita castilloMargarita Castillo is a mother of four, writer and speaker from the heart. She is also a Life Coach, BARE Certified Coach, facilitator of The Work from Byron Katie. and Chemist specialized in Human Resources. “But first of all, I am a woman, in a constant search for learning more, sharing what I know and helping others find inner peace and self love.”



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