Shootin’ from the Hip

My friend Aunt Daisy got a job writing an advice column she calls “Shootin’ from the Hip” for the local newspaper. I got an email from her this morning:

Howdy Cowgirl!

      Monday, I walked into the office to meet the editor and deliver my first column and did I get a shock. I thought it would be a modern office but surprise! Things hadn’t changed since 1930 – wainscot walls,  roll top desks, swivel chairs, green library lamps. I could hear the printin’ press churnin’ out news and smell the ink. The only modern dodads were the computers.

      Seems like the owner and editor, a stressed out gal from New York City named Ishawna, who’d been a driving instructor and a church gospel singer, wanted to follow her dream – runnin’ a little newspaper.

     We hit it off right away specially since I brought a basket of jalapeno corn sticks for the staff.



     Ishawna was tickled by my first column – see below:


     Dear Aunt Daisy,

     I’m getting married in three days and just found out my maid of honor is my fiancé’s ex-girlfriend. I’m afraid it’s not going to be my day at the altar with her looking at him and him looking at her and both of them remembering Ha, Ha! days. What should I do?

     — Worried

     Dear Worried – You’re not alone in this. There’s an old cowboy sayin’. “If you’re in a hole, don’t keep diggin’.” In other words, throw your lasso around him, keep him close and a pitchfork by the door.


     Dear Aunt Daisy,

     I’m 43 years old and have a husband who loves my pot roast more than me. But I have a secret. I want more than anything to wear a long black dress and sit on a white piano singing my heart out. I have a chance to do almost that. There’s a bar down the street that has karaoke night. I’d love a chance singing in front of an audience, no matter how small. Am I crazy?


     Dear Crazy – If you’ve got a roast in the oven and a hankerin’ to sing,’ listen to this cowgirl: “It’s better to be a has-been than a never was.” Sing your heart out, Honey!


     Dear Aunt Daisy,

     I have a best girlfriend and here’s my problem. She’s always had a hard time keeping boyfriends. Should I ask her advice about my boyfriend moving in with me?

     — Clueless

      Dear Clueless – A wise cowboy once said, “Don’t ask a barber if you need a haircut.” You have what your girlfriend wants. She ain’t gonna tell you to bring in the horse and lock the corral. If you got a chance, saddle up and ride.

     I had Ishawna and the staff noddin’ and stuffin’ themselves with cornsticks and drinkin’ coffee. I’m right proud of myself and lookin’ forward to my new job.

     Happy trails,

     Aunt Daisy


     I’m glad AuntDaisy has a new job she enjoys at 83. It will take her mind off Earl for a while and prevent him from having a heart attack from too much whoop-de-do!

xoxo  Sylvia



more recommended stories