Published On: Mon, Jun 12th, 2017

Commentary: The “Un” Word (Part 2)

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“I had not been living, just breathing for a while, feeling stuck, fat, ugly, hopeless, unappreciated, unloved and all words beginning with “un” you can imagine”

In this deeply personal post for The Yucatan Times, Merida Life Coach Margarita Castillo reflects on implications of appearance and the “Un” Word in the lives of women. This is the second of two parts.

One day, a very dear friend told me about Martha Beck and her work. She is a Harvard PhD Sociologist and runs a “Life Coach Training Center” and writes for Oprah’s magazine amongst other things and THAT was the moment that changed my life forever.

I read all her books and took the training to be a life coach. Martha Beck taught me to reconnect with my self-wisdom, to know what feels good for me, to follow my body compass knowing and listening to my inner wisdom voice, and that there are fears and “should haves” that are just thoughts, limiting beliefs created in the mind and I had the power to dissolve and substitute them with empowering ones. I learned life always has hard moments she calls “square one” and found tools to empower myself, overcome these bad moments and get to the square four. Martha always said: —You have to live it to give it! —



The change had started, I could barely feel it, but I knew I was on the right path, when I stopped googling “how to be happy”. I was feeling better, but the weight was still causing me pain, I couldn’t get rid of it and tried EVERYTHING. All kind of diets, detox, pills and more pills, hypnosis, psychiatrist, psychologist, surgeries, anything that could help me find the necessary willpower to stop getting food as a reward or consolation until a day, one of my wonderful teachers in this training, Susan Hyatt, designed a life changing program: BARE and as soon as I signed up, my life completely changed, I eventually became a certified BARE COACH and felt a big commitment to share this wonderful work. As Byron Katie says: ­— “thoughts are just that: thoughts… We are not our thoughts.” —

Now I know that losing weight is not a matter of willpower, it is a matter of love, SELF-LOVE. I know the thoughts we have are just that, and the only one that bosses my mind is ME. I choose to think empowering thoughts instead of cruel self-talk. I talk to me in an empathetic way and I’m grateful for the body I have. I appreciate my arms and love them, even though they are not as toned as a model or a movie star arms but I can hug my kids with them! And now, while I was in the airport before catching this flight, I saw a girl with a donut and thought: I want a donut! And then I heard Susan Hyatt’s voice:

—Does Eating that donut feels like love to you? Or like self-abuse? — Such a powerful question! I was able to answer myself: -No! I’ll feel bloated after it, that amount of sugar will make me feel tired and numbed. I don’t need a snack right now. – I kept walking to board my plane, which is now about to land. This weekend I finished the first year of training in “The Work from Byron Katie” I shared precious moments with wonderful friends, made deep connections, and learned we can question all our thoughts….

I’m feeling ecstatic in peace and self-love. I can’t believe I could ever felt this way, even though I’m not thin, even though I’m not a model anymore. I treat my body with compassion and love, talk to myself in a better much loving way and finally, even life has still bumps and rough ways, I AM HAPPY.

This is the way Life Coaching works.

By Margarita Castillo for TYT

Margarita Castillo

Margarita Castillo is a mother of four, writer and speaker from the heart. She is also a Life Coach, BARE Certified Coach, facilitator of The Work from Byron Katie. and Chemist specialized in Human Resources. “But first of all, I am a woman, in a constant search for learning more, sharing what I know and helping others find inner peace and self love.”

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