Published On: Fri, Dec 19th, 2014

Those Toxic People

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Toxic People

Toxic People

Editorial for “The Yucatan Times”

We all know at least one… That somebody who seems to enjoy misery, anguish, bitterness or instability of others. That one person you greet on the street or at a social gathering – Hello, how are you?” – The response ranges from a simple -“not very well”- to a -“Have you gained weight?”- Or an unpleasant story about someone we know.

These toxic people around us, in one way or another can usually be avoided, however, the real problem comes when one of them is very close to us. Such as a friend or a member of our family and since we are in holiday season, most likely it is that we will have to see them, and it is quite unpleasant to fall into the game and get carried away by this negativity. Few things are as unpleasant and even as painful as when our own family or close friends are our most relentless critic and foe.

Using the “Method of Observation” I created a small but efficient (to me) list of “species” to avoid and I have categorized them according to my own scientific criteria which has no validity anywhere but in my own mind.

These are:

The Hater.

The Hater  Photo: by

The Hater
Photo: by

That one person who hates it all. Holidays, patriotic festivities, festivals, Carnival (well, I do accept that I hated Carnival when it was in Paseo Montejo but that’s another story …) Superbowl, World Series, Soccer World Cup, civic or social events. They love to put down those that are unlike them, and are always willing to find a way to have fun. This species, is usually endemic of the bar or area where the alcohol is served. And no matter what, they always have a negative comment to expel.

The Olympian.

The Olympian  Photo by The Wilcox Classical Museum

The Olympian
Photo by The Wilcox Classical Museum

Those individuals who no matter what you comment or share with the listeners around you, always has had an experience or been in a situation, ALWAYS better, worse or bigger than yours or anyone else’s. As an example, If you or anyone says:

-Cooking Christmas dinner I burnt my finger.- The Olympian will respond something like:

-Oh! if you only knew what happened to me… I burnt my whole, complete hand!-

Since for “the Olympian” it´s always a competition, the interruption of the person who was talking is expected, thus shredding the story and giving the audience in it´s always bombastic, pompous and greater tale. These species are found in many habitats, the favorites being Facebook, Twitter or any of the other social networks, where they conduct many Byzantine discussions and exchanges of their own bombastic, pompous experiences.

The Victim.

The Victim  Photo:

The Victim

For this person everything is wrong, everything is a problem, the situation is bitter, hard, barren. This type of person enjoys (perhaps not in a conscious way) others to feel pity, compassion or something of that sort. The reality is that in general terms, we all can give a f*** about it! And I have to clarify, it is not lack of empathy, it´s just that everyone already has many problems in life as it is, so why carry someone else’s?

In this person´s Twitter time line or Facebook wall, you’ll find postings about how sad they feel, the world being destroyed… crap about morality or a HORRID selfie, just waiting for someone to write – I hope your day gets better, or-Wow you look great!

The Pious.

The Pious  photo:

The Pious

This person always starts their opinion with: “Hey … I heard things haven´t been so great,” “I’m so sorry you lost your job” or whatever unpleasant comparative (never positive) such as:

– “Your brother, cousin, father, stepson etc … is SO successful, and you, being such a nice guy, such a good person, having such a hard time”- as a clear reference to whatever has happened in your life and the hearsay. This species is easily recognized (so that way, graceful fleeing can be taken into action) since it´s from whom you´ll receive one of those chain messages, either about “The Miracles of the Relic of the Holy Foreskin of Jesus” which of course, you cannot break, otherwise if you do not send it to all your contacts, ALL curses known to mankind will fall on you since the before mentioned was created to eradicate child hunger in Africa.

On Facebook they will post things like: “If you believe that Christ loves you, give me a like” or something related to Elisa (Elisé in French), the girl that was kidnapped in 2003 in the Mexican version. The same girl in the 2007 version needs a kidney or in the 2009 version she was kidnapped, kidney taken, drugged and used to haul drugs (same girl, always the same photo).

This person (like most people I know) is in favor of animals and organizations pro dogs, cats, dolphins, whales, seals, bulls, parrots, tigers, lions or abused children, however, other than posting on their Facebook page, they won´t do squat about.

It´s the first person to go to Church on Sundays and you´ll hear them speak about “Christian charity” just to turn around and take whatever you told them or they heard around somewhere, into a story bigger than Texas, and since everything´s bigger in Texas, you can just imagine.

The Well Informed.-

The Well Informed Photo:

The Well Informed

Nobody knows more, knows better, or is more aware of  life, work, family and miracle, of what is going on in the block, school, companies, local businesses, church, social club or gym just to name a few. This person is “Well Informed”.

His/her favorite phrase is always: -“Did you hear…  Did you know…”- And off it goes with the unsolicited story about the wealth, fortune or misfortune of others, hook-ups or  brake-ups, divorces, bedridden or tribulations of  people whether they know them or not … The point is to “find out; to inform others” which according to them is not the same as tattling. This species is more endemic to the Whatsapp or private messages on Facebook or Twitter as they are reluctant to act “openly”.

Therefore, personally, I have decided two things.

The first one is that if I am one of those above, it is time to stop being so.

Second. From Christmas and thereafter, if any of the above approaches me, I will not allow myself to fall in their emotional hooking, regardless if that person is my acquaintance, friend, neighbor, brother, distant relative, business partner, colleague or whatever … I will not come into conflict. I will just excuse myself and go elsewhere. If there is one thing that in my 43 years of age I have learned it´s that, a person cannot share their big dreams with small minded people because it won´t fit, nor can one afford to be contaminated by a person who thrives on the bad left on us.

Those people, it’s time to get them out of our lives … Or at least, out of mine.

Merry Christmas/Happy holidays to you all!

Toxic people
December 19 2014
Mérida Yucatan, México

José Eugenio Palomeque-Urioste is a Business Intelligence professional in the area of ​​Research and Development. He began his training process in mass media writing scripts for radio programs, commercials and advertising campaigns.  Since then, he has written for newspapers, magazines and mass media in Mexico and the United States, ranging from the professional to the editorial and has written 3 fiction novels that have been presented in numerous forums and literary competitions causing much controversy as to its content.

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